How Your Positivity Affects Your Child
Growing up can be such a blast! Every day is filled with new experiences, places, people and things. The world is your oyster! And to get the full experience out of each awesome moment, we have to be positive and up-lifting. But sometimes new stuff can be scary, right?
So what do you do when you’re just a kid and something overwhelming happens?You look to your parents to teach you how to cope, of course! As mum or pops of these budding superstars, you have to be on top of your game.
Leading by example is the ONLY way you’re going to instil positivity in your children. Being hyper-aware of what parenting techniques you’re using, will make sure the little sponges you call kids aren’t soaking up any bad habits.
No stinkin’ thinkin’ here!
Positive Words
Whether you know it or not, your attitude and positivity…or lack thereof…affects your child! They watch you like a hawk day and night. They hear everything you say, even when you don’t notice! The are tiny walking, talking copycat versions of you. They emulate you, always.
How's that for scary and awesome all wrapped up into one!?
I’m not saying they aren’t their own individuals. Their uniqueness is what makes them superstars! But they are itty bitty sponges sucking up everything you can teach them. A great place to hop on the positivity train is with your words.
This goes for every single word out of your mouth. Not only do they listen to what you say to them directly, but they pay attention to how you speak to your spouse. They notice how you speak to their teachers. They notice how you talk to everyone around you!Use positive statements instead of negative ones.
For example, instead of saying, ‘Don’t stand on the chair!’, you could say, ‘Chairs are for sitting’ or simply “Sit down, please.”
They also notice what you say ABOUT others…so don’t go bad-mouthin’ your mother-in-law or swear in traffic. Be nice to your waiters and the gal at the grocery store. Learn to guard your tongue no matter what the interaction and it will show through in the kindness of your children.
This even includes how you talk to yourself! Yup. Self-talk counts! How your child talks to his or herself will greatly influence the life they lead. If they can be loving and positive in their daily self-talk, it will be a great asset when they face adversity or begin to identify their strengths.
Positivity opens the door wide for exploring, discovering and learning!
Reactions
What do anger, love, sadness and jealousy all have in common? They’re all human emotions of course! And emotions are healthy. It’s how we choose to experience them and express them that matters.
If you get cut off in traffic or someone makes a rude comment to you, of COURSE you are going to feel annoyed or angry. But if your kiddo sees you react negatively to experiences, they are going to feel like that’s an appropriate way for them to act, too. It’s far better to practice self-control and approach life’s inevitable experiences with the most positivity you can muster!
“It’s very important that your child sees that they always have a way to influence the outcome of things with their own effort, and how they look at things.” - Parenting expert Laura Markham, PhD
Let’s say you burn dinner. You could throw a tantrum and exclaim how you always mess everything up and you’ll never be a good cook. Or…you can laugh about it! Make light of a burned casserole by saying what a great dinner the dog will have over your mistake and take the family out for pizza instead!
Show your children through your words and actions that you are always courteous to others around you. They will learn best through the sincerity you show! ?
Identify Negativity
Identification is the first step to squashing negativity in its tracks. Listen for words like, “I can’t’, ‘I never’ or ‘I always’…if these words come out of anyone in your family’s mouths, you've got a case of fixed mindset! When you hear these words, stop and have a moment together to find out a more growth-focused approach instead.
Find out what’s wrong, encourage and help them choose a more positive (or growth-based) route in place of the fixed one that was expressed.Stay positive and use positive words. Positive words = positive kids! Positive kids are growth-oriented kids!
Teach your child that although they may not be able to control what happens to them, that they can always control the way they see and react to it. Start noticing how you can improve your positivity and put it into practise today!
Watch my video below for simple tips on being more positive, both within yourself and with the little ones.
Xo Lisa oX
TL;DR?
Read the blog post for simple tips on how to use positivity with your kids
Watch the video to see how your positivity can affect your child.
Get the action guide that walks you through steps you can take to insert positivity into your family's life.
